A Spoof on Dr.
Laura's
simplistic use
of Lev. 18:22

on this page...

Codes from
Leviticus  cited and
questioned as to
their validity for
today




Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal
from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it
to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the specific laws and how to best follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.
1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal
with this?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age,
what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual
uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be
put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to
admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle
room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even
though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting
the whole town together to stone them? -- Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again
for reminding us that God's Word is eternal and unchanging.

from a Pentecostal minister

Information for Denominational Activism
from the Academic World

II.  A Letter to Dr. Laura
-anonymous

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a physiologist, is a nationwide talk show host in the United States
who repeatedly attacks gays and lesbians, calling us "biological errors" and deviants.
(See www.stopdrlaura.com for more information.)
She is Jewish and uses the Hebrew Scriptures (the Old Testament) in her attacks.
Here is a letter
by a Pentecostal minister in response to her diatribes.
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"I have other sheep that are not of this
fold.  I must bring them in also."  
John 10:16
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"I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.  I must bring them also."  
John 10:16 NRSV
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